Dreaming of Sailing Away.....

Recently a friend introduced me to the thought of sailing on schooner throughout the Caribbean. What an amazing trip that would be. Imagine the feel of the sun on your face, the tropical breeze in your hair, and the smell of the ocean gently rocking the ship. I can imagine the sound of the sails slapping in the wind while Jimmy Buffet sings his songs of sand, islands, and love.
Every morning would grant one the chance to lie on the deck basking in the sun, fishing for the elusive creatures dwelling under the waters, or a swim in the cool ocean of some remote island's shoreline. No worries and no timelines. Just whatever one's heart desires at the moment. 
Every evening brings a feast from the bountiful ocean and nearby ports. Imagine the sky on a clear night, relaxing on deck with a cool drink and being lulled to complete oblivion by the slow rolling waves caressing the ship's hull. 
Ahhhhh.. shut your eyes... you can almost, just almost, feel it now...
But this is just a dream. It is a dream I have on my 'bucketlist' and hope someday I will experience it and hope it is just as I have imagined and maybe even better. 
Till then, I will keep on dreaming.....

for THE LOVE OF MUSIC

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said: "Music is the universal language of mankind"

 

Music may bridge the cultural divide: a study has shown that regardless of culture or previous exposure, people were accurately able to recognize three emotions in Western music - happiness, sadness and fear.(Music really is a universal language by Karen Sprey)
So that makes it officially official. It's the universal language.  As if most of us didnt already know that or suspect it anyway. 
Music has a voice of it's own that exceeds any other medium. It allows you to visualize a complete story filled with emotion exactly how you want to see it. It allows for your own interpretation, unbiased or without prejudice.  
Look at music alone, without the influence or direction of lyrics, and still there is an incomparable story that unfolds. Based on tempo, volume, and instruments it creates a unique experience not only heard but also felt. You know the old expression: "Let the music wash over you".  
Moods can be enhanced or destroyed by the simple sounds created with music. I recently had a friend going through a divorce and was depressed and feeling alone. I introduced him to the songs of a fairly new artist and within days, his attitude was of healing. He told me the music and lyrics gave him renewed strength and opened his eyes to what was ahead instead of trying to find what was lost in his life. That is what brought me to these thoughts today. 
I recognized in myself the joy I find in my favorite artists.  While we all have our discerning likes in the kind of music, we still all have the same basic results. Music is my medicine when I am sick with the things the world dumps in my lap. It is my healer during times of sorrow or hurt. Music is my partner  encouraging me through my workouts and my sidekick as I'm driving down the road. 
There is not one day that passes in which I do not have a song playing. Tonight I had a revelation. My love for the melodies has been passed to my children. My daughter brought home music from the 50's and 60's and can actually sing along with most of them. She loves the old albums I have from the 70's. And conversely, I find many songs and artists from today that I enjoy and you may find me one day driving down the road with the windows down, music blaring on the radio, and if you can catch a listen, you might even hear me singing along with my sidekick.... :)

A short story on Love~

And thank you for a house full of people I love.  Amen.  ~Terri Guillemets

I have had a lot of tragedy to occur in the first half of 2011. I went through a rough and bitter divorce; nearly lost my daughter in an accident that took a life and destroyed my Silverado; mourned the death of my grand-baby before he was born;  and more recently, watch helplessly while Myasthenia Gravis slowly incapacitates my father. Yet somehow, I have always succeeded in swimming back to the surface through that riptide of life. 

Recently had a friend to tell me how she was thinking of and praying for my Dad  I responded with the thought that I manage to find the will to keep on going despite the setbacks and she called me 'the Eternal Optimist'. Looking back, I guess she is right. Don't get me wrong, I do suffer depression and upset just like others; but I realized that I have something that is stronger than those things. I still carry hope and love. 

Even during the most hateful and hurting part of the divorce, I managed to overcome the feelings of failure and worthlessness. We said some very terrible things to each other. Many I regret. I don't want to be remembered that way by anyone, even my ex.  

I have always been one to 'turn the other cheek' or 'look for the silver lining'. But sometimes you just have to stand your ground for what you believe in. 

I survived all of it during the first half of the year.

I look back at these things and in most I have found 'the silver lining'. First, I survived the divorce and in the process I found myself discovering who I am and happiness when I thought I would never be happy again. Second, I did NOT lose my daughter in the accident. A truck is replaceable, but not her. The gentleman who struck her head on was not as lucky. I grieved for his family. But thankful it was not my daughter's 'time'. Thirdly, I may have lost my grand-baby before I knew him; but I gained a 'daughter' in his mother. We are closer and I truly love her as my own. As her mother had passed away a few years ago, she told me she loves me as her 'Mom' and that makes me feel wonderful. And lastly, I find comfort in my family by seeing how we love each other and all of us support the others in life, death, and disease. My dad maintains his sense of humor; my Mom sustains us with her perseverance; my sisters and I shower them with our love and care, protecting them from what we can as they did with us when we were young. 

So during the first half of 2011, I can look at all the bad and horrible happenings and dwell in that darkness OR.. I can look at the positive results and bask in the warmth of love. I am blessed even with the sharp edged sword of fate cutting into my life. So you can guess which I choose to do. A Bon Jovi song comes to mind... "What do you got if you ain't got love; Whatever you got just ain’t enough"

  I look around and see a 'houseful of people I love' and they are family, friends, and some I've not yet met. 

 

Struggles for Strength

"Be Still, and Know That I am GOD" (Psalms 46:10)

I was recently surprised with the news of an update in my life status... I was going to be a grandmother! What a feeling of love and pride and expectations! This was a little over 3 weeks ago and today I was given another bit of news that took the life and breath out of me.. My unborn grand-baby has cystic hygroma. This is a fluid filled cyst that is usually an indication of chromosomal defects. I Googled more info on this and discovered there is a very high risk that he may not survive the pregnancy. According to the doctors my son and his girlfriend talked to today, there is about a 17 to 20% chance of surviving full term . 

I have felt such an overwhelming surge of restlessness. In part, restless to do something.. ANYTHING to help. And yet, I can't. This is out of our hands. All we can do is watch and wait and pray. I feel restless, too, in the fact that it feels like a child would feel if given an ice cream cone and then right before the first bite, it is held just out of reach. I feel taunted. I fell in love with the baby I glimpsed in the ultrasound picture the first time I viewed it. Within seconds, I was already in planning stages.. what would I be called? What would he/she look like? . not to mention, I even began to peruse the ads for baby beds, other baby items, and even a camcorder (looking forward to those endless videos every grandparent proudly subjects friends and family to view)... and now.. ? Now I feel like that child without the ice cream.. I can still see it but not confidant that it will be mine.

But, in ways that only God can do, I have been given a peace and comfort. Out of nowhere, the verse quoted at the beginning sprang into my mind and heart. 'Be still, and know that I am God'. 

I think this means, to me, that I must remember that God is the Great Physician and He is in control of everything. Perhaps I need to quieten my thoughts and let Him take over (be still) and realize that God has a plan in all things. I still pray that all is going to have a happy ending with me sitting one day in the hospital room holding a beautiful and healthy grand-baby. I don't think God intends us to give up; He built in the emotion of hope into our psyche. I will continue to hope and to pray .... and to Be Still ....

On Life and Love

"The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye; the story of love is hello, goodbye." Jimmy Hendrix

More truth in that quote than I ever thought. I have experienced it on both accounts in that I recently celebrated my 51st birthday and suddenly wonder how did I get here? It seems I was only 21 yesterday. I remember vividly the day my son was born. Was that really nearly 23 years ago? Yes, it was and there has been so much more life and living since then. The birth of my now 19 year old daughter; a failed marriage; a new marriage; and just this year, after almost 14 years, another divorce. The story of Love~ Hello, love; Goodbye, love. The end. 
Or is it? I went thru the usual emotions, hurt, sorrow, anger, then acceptance. And today? I am happy and have made peace with the first 50 years of my life.  I may be destined to live the other side of 50 by myself, but with the love of my children and other family and friends, I have learned to love who I am and trust my instincts. I live in a modest house with only 1450 sq ft and a two car garage. I am blessed to have a job that allows me to work from my home. I am truly happy.
I suppose there are many things I wish for and wanted for myself, but I think back on the life I have lived to this point and know in my heart, it was all the joys, heartaches, mistakes, and more importantly, the people that made me who I am today. We all have a path we follow with choices we make and consequences we experience.
Life passes quickly, seemingly more so as we age. Learn from what we mess up; Enjoy what we get right.
Later