A short story on Love~

And thank you for a house full of people I love.  Amen.  ~Terri Guillemets

I have had a lot of tragedy to occur in the first half of 2011. I went through a rough and bitter divorce; nearly lost my daughter in an accident that took a life and destroyed my Silverado; mourned the death of my grand-baby before he was born;  and more recently, watch helplessly while Myasthenia Gravis slowly incapacitates my father. Yet somehow, I have always succeeded in swimming back to the surface through that riptide of life. 

Recently had a friend to tell me how she was thinking of and praying for my Dad  I responded with the thought that I manage to find the will to keep on going despite the setbacks and she called me 'the Eternal Optimist'. Looking back, I guess she is right. Don't get me wrong, I do suffer depression and upset just like others; but I realized that I have something that is stronger than those things. I still carry hope and love. 

Even during the most hateful and hurting part of the divorce, I managed to overcome the feelings of failure and worthlessness. We said some very terrible things to each other. Many I regret. I don't want to be remembered that way by anyone, even my ex.  

I have always been one to 'turn the other cheek' or 'look for the silver lining'. But sometimes you just have to stand your ground for what you believe in. 

I survived all of it during the first half of the year.

I look back at these things and in most I have found 'the silver lining'. First, I survived the divorce and in the process I found myself discovering who I am and happiness when I thought I would never be happy again. Second, I did NOT lose my daughter in the accident. A truck is replaceable, but not her. The gentleman who struck her head on was not as lucky. I grieved for his family. But thankful it was not my daughter's 'time'. Thirdly, I may have lost my grand-baby before I knew him; but I gained a 'daughter' in his mother. We are closer and I truly love her as my own. As her mother had passed away a few years ago, she told me she loves me as her 'Mom' and that makes me feel wonderful. And lastly, I find comfort in my family by seeing how we love each other and all of us support the others in life, death, and disease. My dad maintains his sense of humor; my Mom sustains us with her perseverance; my sisters and I shower them with our love and care, protecting them from what we can as they did with us when we were young. 

So during the first half of 2011, I can look at all the bad and horrible happenings and dwell in that darkness OR.. I can look at the positive results and bask in the warmth of love. I am blessed even with the sharp edged sword of fate cutting into my life. So you can guess which I choose to do. A Bon Jovi song comes to mind... "What do you got if you ain't got love; Whatever you got just ain’t enough"

  I look around and see a 'houseful of people I love' and they are family, friends, and some I've not yet met.